Leftneck Jesus

Why Do Right Wing Conservative Christians Hate Right Wing Conservative Muslims?

For as long as I can remember, I have been a liberal. My core beliefs and values have not changed, from my days back in Nazareth 2000 years ago, to my resurrection as a leftneck in the 1970’s. So you might say that I have what the conservatives like to call a liberal bias. I admit it. I’m a lefty, a socialist, a communist, etc. My liberal beliefs are not constrained by borders, race, religion, or really anything at all. I think that is one of the main distinctions between liberals and conservatives; the liberal philosophy is universal, whereas the conservative attitude is self-serving, hypocritical, and ultimately changes according to borders, race, religion, and which political party is in control.

I support the liberal left throughout the world. If I still lived in Israel I would be protesting the settlements and pushing for human rights for the Palestinians. Even if I were so unfortunate as to have to live in Gaza- I would endorse peace and recognize the Jewish State of Israel. I believe my daughters deserve the same justice, education, and quality of life as any man, and would believe so if I lived in the darkest cave in Afghanistan! I agree with the anti-war left in Europe, the social left in Canada, the Liberal Democratic Party of Iran has my vote, and so does every other liberal party or movement in the world. Let us contrast my worldwide liberalism with the situation specific conservatism.

I think we should start with the thing that conservatives value most…money. The conservatives (i.e. republicans) are the party of the rich. They believe that the rich worked hard and deserve everything they have, but they constantly single out wealthy liberals (i.e. democrats) as being elitist and out of touch. In 2004 it was particularly interesting to hear an Andover prepped, Yale undergrad, Harvard Business School M.B.A., and son of a former president talk about John Kerry as being elitist. Kerry and Bush had similar backgrounds but Bush pursued policies to keep the wealth and power at the top while Kerry tried to repeal a tax cut that was very beneficial to him and his family. And speaking of his family, it was hilarious to watch conservatives attack Teresa Heinz Kerry for being rich and out of touch.  It was hilarious of course because she was the widow of former U.S. Senator H. John Heinz III (R-Pennsylvania) and she said, “those very same people never criticized my late husband for his money and his wealth…in fact they used it.”

Conservatives love free market capitalism. They suggest that the government should get out of business and let the market decide everything. Well, not quite everything. See, the conservatives are against capitalism when it is something they find immoral (Socialists!). They do not accept Larry Flynt as an American entrepreneur of the sex industry, even though he was supplying something with incredible demand. They might not accept him but they sure like to indulge in his products when they think nobody is looking…let me tell you. And what about the drug dealers? They are the hardest-core capitalists one could meet, but the conservatives want to lock them up for supplying a demand? I have a funny story about the perfect cross section of this reality. So when I was younger I knew this kid who did and sold every drug he could get his hands on, but he considered himself a conservative. He loved to listen to Rush and he thought Reagan was the best and Clinton the worst. I tried to tell him that conservatives wanted to cut off his mullet and send him to jail, but he had this crazy notion that he was a capitalist and therefor a conservative.

Religion might just be the best (worst?) example of the self-serving nature of conservatives. I think it is rather amusing that right-wing-conservative-Christians are the biggest haters of the Taliban and the Islamic Republic of Iran, aka the Islamic Right. Amusing because conservatives actually want their style of government in the United States…just with their religion of course. Conservatives want prayer in the classroom and in the courts. Conservatives want their wives to be subservient and at home. Conservatives believe that I am the Son of God and that all non-believers are destined to hell. Conservatives are religious hypocrites about violence, war, and killing just like right-wing-conservative-Muslims. So why do right wing conservative-Christians hate right-wing-conservative-Muslims?

Conservatives love to wave the flag, but they become traitriots as soon as a democrat is elected. Supporting the government was patriotic when King Dubya was destroying the Constitution (ask the Dixie Chicks), but the government is Big Brother now that Obama is president. Remember when Chicago was in the running for the Olympics and the flag-wavers were literally cheering against the US because Obama is from Chicago?


Could you imagine the conservative outrage if this were a group of liberal bloggers cheering against Texas? They would have had them locked up and tried for treason. I hate republicans with the best of them, but I still have love and respect for my country-even when they are in charge. Liberals and democrats gave Bush a chance after we were attacked on September 11th, on HIS watch, but conservatives would be quick to blame any attack during the Obama administration on democrats being pussies.

And speaking of Osama bin Laden, how did you like the muted response of the traitriot conservatives when president Obama ordered the double tap on OBL? Could you imagine if Dubya or any republican president had made such a courageous call?  Conservatives would have held mandatory recitals of The Pledge of Allegiance for the entire country.  They would have made every male wear red, white, and blue from head to toe with star-spangled-banana-hammocks in between.

Instead of jubilation they were like ho-hum, nothing to see here. They downplayed the role of the administration in the operation while giving credit to everyone from Horace Smith and Daniel Wesson, to George W. “I truly am not that concerned about him” Bush and Dick Cheney. They say that the military made the call, not Obama, and they say that anybody would have made the same call. If only we had a way to see what John McCain would have done if he were elected…

As usual I could write for days about all of the conservative hypocrisy, but I will just mention two other areas since they are currently in the news and being debated by congress. The first is war. Conservatives love war. They would support a republican administration if they wanted to go to war with Mexico or Canada, but they cannot support president Obama’s decision to use American forces in a NATO mission. Now I am against war and not particularly pleased with the decision to send our troops to Libya…because if we send them there then why not Bahrain or Syria as well? But that is me and I am a liberal-not a war mongering conservative. The same group of republicans, who gave the Bush administration carte blanche on war, does not think a democratic president has the same authority.

And last but not least I have to mention the deficit. For years republicans have been fond of saying that deficits don’t matter (“Reagan taught us that”). What they really meant to say was that deficits don’t matter when republicans are in charge. See, deficits caused by tax cuts and the unpaid wars are okay, but deficits under democratic leadership are disastrous. The conservatives are now trying to use the deficits created by Bush and the republicans as reason to roll back social programs instead of rolling back the tax cuts. Like the Apostle Ezekizzle said, conservatives are sickening but brilliant!

Peace be with you,

Leftneck Jesus

Leftneck Jesus

Republicans Continue To Crucify

So on the observation of my crucifixion, I would like to take a few moments to reflect on the irony of republicans, who worship me, but continue to crucify the people emulating my teachings. It just feels like they are the type who read the cliff notes but not the book. They go to church because it is the right or smart thing to do in the United States, like buying a Toyota or a Honda, not for my bleeding-heart liberal ideas. They only show up on holy days and leave right after Communion (if it is celebrated).

They pray to me for high profit margins, wealth, and power. Tight little mullet-headed preachers have convinced their sheeple that the prosperity gospel is somehow Christian. It is not! I do not care about your profit margin. I only care about your business if you are providing well paying jobs with benefits and rights. I do not want you to be rich, again-have you ever read the Bible (Matthew 19:24 & 6:24, Timothy 6:10)?

The republicans oppose me in the current debates in the congress and in the country. I’m to the left of universal healthcare. I’m still upset with President Obama for not pushing through a single payer program when democrats had control. I mean, if the Tea-Necks are going to call you a socialist, regardless of the law, you might as well get something in the deal. And just a note of warning to the Tea-Necks…do not waste your time praying to me if you get sick. You will have better luck praying to the republican leadership for some of their plush, socialistic, government healthcare.

I want cuts to defense spending and weapons systems not education and teachers. I want gays and lesbians to be able to get married and divorced…just like republicans. I want the top 1% to pay 50% in taxes…at least. I want my religion taught and observed in churches or homes not in schools or courtrooms. I want my beautiful mothers, wives, and daughters to have the same opportunities, the same pay, and the same dignity. I want the liberals, longhairs, and hippies to follow me not these conservative chode-ass republicans.

Peace be with you,

Leftneck Jesus

Leftneck Jesus

Ronald Reagan: Patron Saint Of The Tea Party?

So with all of the celebrations and Sarah Palin speeches in honor of what would have been Ronald Reagan’s 100th birthday, I thought I would take the time to punk some Tea-necks (you know how I roll). See, I do not think Reagan could get elected by the Tea Party because he would not be Reagan-enough for them. Since it is obvious that the Tea Party did not pay much attention to deficits, taxes, or even politics until January 2009-the following is a quick summary of what might upset them about Reaganomics…

We know the deficit is the one thing the Tea-neckers hate more than Obama and the government. If they paid attention during the 80’s they would have remembered the debate over deficits. George H. W. Bush called Reaganomics “Voodoo Economics” because it would have taken a Voodoo Priest to prevent the huge tax cuts from increasing the deficit. Your boy Reagan won the debate but not the war.

H. W. Bush had to raise taxes to fix the Reagan mistake. It cost him his job. Clinton also had to raise taxes to fix the Reagan mistake. He was reelected, balanced the budget, and erased the federal deficit (Tea Party ♥ Clinton?). Clinton left office with a $236 billion surplus and a projected 10-year surplus of $5.6 trillion.

Dubya was selected and came to Washington determined to spend the surplus and run deficits, because as Dick Cheney famously said, “Reagan proved deficits don’t matter.” In Dick’s defense, he meant deficits don’t matter as long as a white republican is the president. Bush left office with a $1.2 trillion deficit and projected shortfalls of $3.1 trillion for the next decade.

President Obama inherited the Bush $1.2 trillion deficit and the Tea Party formed the following night. All of the sudden the evil deficit was endangering the future of all of the little rednecks…and even the futures of all of their little rednecks. The 2009 deficit was $1.4 trillion and it was $1.3 trillion last year. If you have short-term memory issues and have already forgotten, Obama started with a $1.2 trillion deficit.

The Reagan tax cuts of 1981 and 1986 reduced the top income tax rate from 70% to 28% and reduced revenue by $1.48 trillion. The Reagan tax increases of 1982 and 1984 combined for the biggest tax increase ever enacted during peacetime. The total tax increases equaled $1.5 trillion by 1989. Reagan redistributed wealth by cutting income taxes (the rich) and raising payroll and gas taxes (harder on middle class and poor). Republicans love to cry about wealth redistribution whenever tax cuts for the rich are discussed, but they are okay with redistribution as long as it flows from the middle class and poor up to the rich.

I realize this information will not make a difference to the Tea-necks because facts and reality do not seem to be important requisites to them or republicans in general. They will continue to ignore the fact that their hero Reagan actually raised their taxes and the socialist Obama actually cut them! They will continue to praise Reagan for running deficits and continue to protest Obama for the same. And most important of all- they will continue to worship your faithful editor, even though I am a self-proclaimed bleeding heart liberal.

JayZ quote

Peace be with you,

Leftneck Jesus


Sickening But Brilliant

If 2/3 of the USG budget is spent on entitlements (Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security) then it only makes sense that if you are going to balance the budget (which we all know is not possible and so do they) you must cut DoD spending. What annoys me is that the GOP seems to have forgotten that they stood up Homeland Defense (bigger government) and are very responsible for the gross and disgusting abuses fiscal spending during the Bush years (war, and GWOT spending). Yet, now all the sudden they want to cut government spending and blame the deficit on TARP and Obamacare–in essence be the champions of getting government spending under control. Brilliant play GOP. Sickening but brilliant. Once again, I hate both parties–but I HATE the GOP way more.

And where the FUCK was the Tea Party then? Having said that and if you believe the Fabian Society conspiracy (coincidence) of global socialism and NWO–then perhaps the Tea Party, Liberty Movement and Oath Keepers will slow them down? Maybe they will be the wrench in their cog? Maybe they will or are the modern day Andrew Jacksons? After all, Jackson is responsible for genocide of the American Indians (Indian Removal Act of 1830), but he also fought the international bankers and won–at least while he was alive??? I’m just saying. Just like Jackson, the Tea Party movement might be a double-edged sword. Crazy-ass crackers that most of them are.

If you read the latest Bruno article, he links an interview of George Soros. In that interview Soros explains that the goal for the US is a controlled crash of sorts. Controlled by the IMF that is and that the “controlled” part is not guaranteed.

So if TPTB can actually pull off a controlled crash, would that be better than an uncontrolled crash? I mean if they are controlling the crash–are they going to set up the next house of cards that they control? Having said that, anarchy will not be fun and probably not survivable for many people. But hey–that’s CRAZY talk right? I mean the economy is growing, the new House will fix everything, inflation is in check and deficit spending is the only way to pull us out of recession. Oh yea, Peak Oil and Global Warming are liberal elite lies designed to make money for the hippy, tree hugging, Prius driving, draft dodging lefties, communo-facists socialists (they can be used interchangeably–just ask the Tea Party).




Leftneck Jesus

Dancing With America

Mrs. Crizzle watches “Dancing With the Stars” and she is suddenly feeling the Palin effect.  She is not as political as your boy-so I will admit that it’s kind of nice to have her deal with the Palin freaks for once.  I do not watch the show, but from what I can gather, the Tea-necks have taken over the public voting segment.  Week after week Bristol Palin has the lowest scores, and week after week the Tea-necks vote for her and cut a more qualified dancer.  My bride blames the scoring system because it gives equal influence to the scores of the professional judges and the unprofessional voting public (de Tocqueville anybody?).  I see a more direct correlation at work.   

For me, it is the perfect analogy for Palin, the Tea-necks, and conservative America in general.  See, they know Bristol is not the best dancer, but they vote for her because of her “real-American” mom and her conservative values (you know-abstinence after pregnancy!).  They do not care that Sarah Palin is not even close to being qualified for my local school board-let alone the presidency.  They support her because she is one of them-you know, ignorant!  They criticize our president as being clueless while they praise the intellectually incurious Palin and her incoherent clichés. 

Since we know that they are not voting for her dancing skills we must consider the irony of conservatives endorsing an unemployed single mother.  Somehow it does not matter to these hypocrites that Bristol had a baby out of wedlock and is not even with the father…I’m sure it would if she were a black teenager or the teenage daughter of Nancy Pelosi.  Where is Dan Quayle with his condemnation?  Instead of disapproval, Bristol is touted as an abstinence only spokeswoman.  Again-abstinence looks good on you…not me.  It’s like Tommy Chong telling kids not to burn the herb…because he got busted-not because he believes it!  Just like all of the other conservative hypocrisy…their rules only apply to others (you know-liberals, democrats, etc…).

Peace be with you,

Leftneck Jesus

Leftneck Jesus

de Tocqueville Was Right

de Tocqueville was right, Americans really are too stupid to govern themselves. Go ahead and call me an elitist-I am smarter than you. For proof, one needs to look no further than the Commonwealth of Kentucky on Tuesday night.

Alexis de Tocqueville
Alexis de Tocqueville

Let me ground my elitism by saying that I have a great love and appreciation for the Bluegrass State and her people. I feel as comfortable in a hollow (holler) in southern Kentucky as I do in the holy city of Bethlehem. I know quite a few people in Kentucky and they all seem to have one thing in common, the government dole.

They are on Medicare or Medicaid (1 in 5). They are on Welfare and their kids eat for free at school thanks to Head Start or the socialist lunch program. They are in the military or they are retired and go to the VA for their medicine. They get SSI Disability checks ($1 Billion per year!) and spend them at the local Wal-Mart. They are farmers who depend on federal subsidies to work the land of their father’s father.

They live in trailers up in hollers, chain smoke cigarettes, dip, chew, and have coffee brewing all throughout the day. They bootleg alcohol in dry counties and the kids smoke meth instead of that good ol’ Kentucky dank. They vote republican!

Rand PaulSomebody needs to tell them that their world is about to change. Not because of the socialist-Muslim president, who they fear so much, but because of their Senator-elect Rand Paul. Dr. Paul does not believe that the government has any business in medicine or education or really anywhere else. I do not want to address the merits of his beliefs (except to point out his blatant hypocrisy for accepting Medicaid funds as an eye surgeon in KY) because this is more a critique of the electorate than the candidate.

How can a citizenry, so dependent on the government, elect a senator vowing to abolish said government? What are the people of Kentucky going to do when the Tea-necks start gutting programs that entire hollers, cities, and counties rely on for survival?

Sorry sir, your Medicare card is no longer valid…but at least you have your country back!

Alexis de Tocqueville quote

Peace be with you,

Leftneck Jesus

Leftneck Jesus

Extreme MediocriTEA

The other troubling aspect of the TEA Party is the extreme mediocrity of their candidates.  Again-if a liberal, democrat, or dad-forbid a black guy made any of the gaffes of say Christine O’donnell- they would have been mocked, ridiculed, and forced out of the race weeks ago.  But since she is a conservative, white, Tea Partier (you know real American) her troubles only seem to make her more authentic…not totally unfit for public office.Mediocri-TEA

Or how about Joe Miller-you know the hypocrite taking advantage of all of the governmental programs that he calls “unconstitutional”.  Could you imagine the utter outrage if a democratic senatorial candidate had his private police force arrest a journalist for asking a question?  Tea Party necks would have been exasperated by the thuggery of such socialists (or communists or fascists-they are interchangeable you know?)!  Freedom of the press-the Bill Of Rights-I think that might be in the constitution-quick, somebody check with Christine O’donnell…

Just imagine how hard Fox “news” would have been pushing the story of Carl Paladino’s bestiality porn emails, if he were the liberal democratic candidate from New York.   What about his famous “I’ll take you out” remark to a reporter-where were the Oath Keepers?  Why didn’t they stage a rally outside Paladino’s office to keep him from infringing on the freedom of the press-guaranteed by the first amendment to the United States Constitution?

And last but certainly not least we have Rich Iott from Ohio.  He is the Tea Party chode who likes to dress up like a Nazi.  So how does that work exactly-the Tea Party hates all things Nazi-but they have a candidate who likes to dress up and pretend he is a Nazi?  I’m used to the Tea Party hypocrisy and bullshizzle by now- but Really Tea necks…REALLY?

The fact that I’m even aware of these crackpots is testament to the double standard at play within the Tea Party and conservative politics.  Not only have they not been forced out of their respective races but some might actually win.  The same people, who mock a constitutional law professor for not knowing the Constitution, support Christine O’donnell and her total ignorance of the Constitution.

Peace be with you,

Leftneck Jesus

Leftneck Jesus

Tea Party And Oath Keepers MIA 2000-2008

I have had one underlying question since the inception of the Tea Party, Oath Keepers, and the resurgence of the militia movements; where were they from 2000-2008?  This seems to be a legitimate question that nobody within the movements can or wants to answer.

This is not (as some might characterize) an attempt to call anyone who does not like president Obama or his policies a racist.  Although there is little doubt that there are racist members of all of the groups in question (based on member comments on websites, signs at rallies, and the sudden need to protect the constitution from the very things the prior administration did at will) I believe Barack Obama happens to be the perfect storm of a “liberal”, a democrat, and a black guy.

For some reason the groups did not find it necessary to form when King Dubya was playing cowboy with the constitution that they claim to hold so dear.  Here is a short reminder of Bush-era accomplishments that did not trouble the Tea Party, Oath Keepers, or militia-necks:

1.  Patriot Act

Violated 1st and 4th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution and was found to be unconstitutional in court.  Unconstitutional-oh no here comes the Tea Party?

2.  Military Commisions Act of 2006

Supreme Court ruled it an unconstitutional encroachment of habeas corpus rights.  Here comes the Oath Keepers?

3.  NSA Warrantless Surveillance

Executive order to spy without a warrant!  This is number 2 on the Oath Keepers “Orders We Will Not Obey” list.  Apparently it was an order they would obey during the Bush administration?

4.  Authorization for use of Military Force Against Terrorists (AUMF)

Bush issued a Presidential Military Order to detain so called enemy combatants.  This is number 3 on the Oath Keepers “Orders We Will Not Obey”.

5.  Unfunded Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan

Bush and the Republicans did not include the $1 Trillion dollar costs of the wars under the military budget but instead tried to hide the costs in supplemental funding bills.  That is $1 Trillion BORROWED dollars for all of the people crying about deficits for healthcare.

6.  Medicare Prescription Drug Benefit

Socialized Medicine?  Entitlement?  Projected cost of $550 Billion!  The year was 2003 and the Tea Party was…?

7.  2002 Farm Bill Subsidies

The total was $170 Billion over ten years (twice the cost of your tax dollars than any other farm bill in history).  The year was 2002…7 full years before this would be considered socialism by the Tea Party.

8.  No Child Left Behind

The American Association of School Administrators (AASA) opposed the legislation because of…wait for it… its expansion of the federal government’s role in education.  The AASA had an issue with the expansion of government but the Tea Party was okay with it.

9.  Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP)

Signed into law by President GEORGE W. BUSH on October 3, 2008.  Surely the Tea Party formed the very next day-hahahahaha?  I would be willing to bet the lot that a majority of Tea Party members think Obama signed TARP.  Seriously-how much do you want to lose?

10.  John Yoo (DOJ Office of Legal Counsel-GWB 2001-2003)

Yoo helped develop the legal justification for the detention of enemy combatants, torture, the policy declaring that the president is not bound by the war crimes act, and for warrantless wiretapping.  Mr. Yoo seemingly violated the Oath Keepers “Orders We Will Not Obey” numbers 2, 3, 4, 7, and 10.  Surely the Oath Keepers formed right after Mr. Yoo’s work surfaced-hahahahaha?

I’m sure I could go to 20, 30, or 40 but I think the 10 examples above are enough to prove my point and to help call into question the timing of the Tea Party, Oath Keepers, etc.  Where were they during the signing of the socialized Farm Bill?  Why did John Yoo not send them running to recite their oath to the constitution?  Why didn’t the militia-necks stage mock exercises and rallies when Bush signed the Patriot Act?  Any single example above should be enough to trump anything the Obama administration has done so far or even dreamed of doing (off in their underground socialist Mosque-of course!).

Timing is everything-it looks like the democrats will get crushed in a couple of weeks and we will see if these movements stay true to their  so-called principles (as their candidates takeover) or if like the militia movements from the Clinton years-they silently go back home until the next “liberal” is selected?

Peace be with you,

Leftneck Jesus