Ronald Reagan: Patron Saint Of The Tea Party?

So with all of the celebrations and Sarah Palin speeches in honor of what would have been Ronald Reagan’s 100th birthday, I thought I would take the time to punk some Tea-necks (you know how I roll). See, I do not think Reagan could get elected by the Tea Party because he would not be Reagan-enough for them. Since it is obvious that the Tea Party did not pay much attention to deficits, taxes, or even politics until January 2009 -the following is a quick summary of what might upset them about Reaganomics…

We know the deficit is the one thing the Tea-neckers hate more than Obama and the government. If they paid attention during the 80’s they would have remembered the debate over deficits. George H. W. Bush called Reaganomics “Voodoo Economics” because it would have taken a Voodoo Priest to prevent the huge tax cuts from increasing the deficit. Your boy Reagan won the debate but not the war.

H. W. Bush had to raise taxes to fix the Reagan mistake. It cost him his job. Clinton also had to raise taxes to fix the Reagan mistake. He was reelected, balanced the budget, and erased the federal deficit (Tea Party ♥ Clinton?). Clinton left office with a $236 billion surplus and a projected 10-year surplus of $5.6 trillion.

Dubya was selected and came to Washington determined to spend the surplus and run deficits, because as Dick Cheney famously said, “Reagan proved deficits don’t matter.” In Dick’s defense, he meant deficits don’t matter as long as a white Republican is the president. Bush left office with a $1.2 trillion deficit and projected shortfalls of $3.1 trillion for the next decade.

President Obama inherited the Bush $1.2 trillion deficit and the Tea Party formed the following night. All of the sudden the evil deficit was endangering the future of all of the little rednecks…and even the futures of all of their little rednecks. The 2009 deficit was $1.4 trillion and it was $1.3 trillion last year. If you have short-term memory issues and have already forgotten, Obama started with a $1.2 trillion deficit.

The Reagan tax cuts of 1981 and 1986 reduced the top income tax rate from 70% to 28% and reduced revenue by $1.48 trillion. The Reagan tax increases of 1982 and 1984 combined for the biggest tax increase ever enacted during peacetime. The total tax increases equaled $1.5 trillion by 1989. Reagan redistributed wealth by cutting income taxes (the rich) and raising payroll and gas taxes (harder on middle class and poor). Republicans love to cry about wealth redistribution whenever tax cuts for the rich are discussed, but they are okay with redistribution as long as it flows from the middle class and poor up to the rich.

I realize this information will not make a difference to the Tea-necks because facts and reality do not seem to be important requisites to them or Republicans in general. They will continue to ignore the fact that their hero Reagan actually raised their taxes and the socialist Obama actually cut them! They will continue to praise Reagan for running deficits and continue to protest Obama for the same. And most important of all – they will continue to worship your faithful editor, even though I am a self-proclaimed bleeding heart liberal.

JayZ quote

Peace be with you,

Leftneck Jesus

One thought on “Ronald Reagan: Patron Saint Of The Tea Party?

  1. Once again–spoken with such clarity it makes too much sense and the very people that should be reading this are watching Fox News. Fucking chodes. Well done Crizzle but then again–you are omnipotent and omniscient.

    And also with you,
    Ezekizzle 25:17

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