Ann Coulter: Please Put Down The Crack Pipe

One of the main reasons I have revealed myself at this moment in time is to combat the lies told by modern day Pharisees. Ann Coulter might just be the Queen of these Pharisees. I recently laughed my way through her right-wing version of history at ChodePAC 2011.

In her tweaker-blonde version of history, Iraq is a republican success story, and the revolution in Egypt is an Obama/democratic failure. Of course, she forgot to mention some of the best details…

She chides democrats for not supporting democracy in the Middle East because they were against the war in Iraq. Apparently she thinks democracy was the reason we invaded Iraq? I remember a lot of “reasons” given by the Bush Administration…democracy was never high on the list.

As if that is not revisionist bullshit enough- she throws in the old, “gassed his own people” routine. She forgets to tell the ChodePAC audience that Saddam was on our team when he “gassed” his people. And by our team, I mean team Reagan! She also fails to mention that the United States was the only member of the United Nations Security Council to vote against the declaration on Iraqi chemical weapons in March 1986. And what about the fact that her boy Reagan continued to funnel money to Iraq, even after the reports of the gassing of Kurds?

The next absurdity is the WMD claim. One really has to love the people who still cling to the lies of the Bush Administration…even after the administration and the architects have walked away from their marketing plan (WMD, Iraq’s involvement in 9-11, etc…). That is the problem with the fairy tails told by Pharisees…their Faux News audience continues to believe in them. According to a 2007 Newsweek poll on American’s knowledge of history, 41% of Americans still believed that Saddam and Iraq were directly involved in the 9-11-2001 attacks. 41%!

The only validity to her claim is that after 8 years of searching every inch of the country we have found minute remnants of chemical weapons…most likely from the Reagan-supported years. Ironically, North Korea and Iran have moved closer to becoming nuclear states while we combed the desert (“we ain’t found shit”) for trace amounts of WMD. The fact that she would brag about the nanogram of WMD we found, while looking for stockpiles, is the equivalent of the DEA being proud of a major marijuana raid in which they found remnants of a seed…busted!

Coulter and the right-wingers do not care about the loss of innocent lives so I will just look at the cost of the war in Iraq compared to Egypt. Pay attention Tea-necks. Thanks to the Crizzletians at the National Priorities Project we can get an updated cost of the fiasco in Iraq. Every time the number increases by $100 a Tea-necker gets tea-bagged!

This does not matter to Coulter because Egypt is an ally (i.e. we paid Mubarak $60 Billion to have peace with Israel). This seems to be her main concern…that we will not be able to payoff and dictate our will on the new Egyptian government. She seems to believe that since American troops were involved in Iraq, the outcome is guaranteed to be in the favor of the US. This is an obvious stretch considering the newfound influence of Shia Iran over Shia Iraq. Either scenario is ultimately out of our control. Egypt could stay a military dictatorship or become an Islamic Republic…and so could Iraq!

Sure, Saddam was a ruthless dictator and the US should have never been on his side (thanks Reagan!) but why was he any different than the Saudis, North Koreans, or the Iranians? And what about the republican deal with the devil in Saudi Arabia? Why do we allow the Saudis to breed such resentment towards the US? Why was it more important to deflect criticism of the royal family than it was to prevent the Saudi terrorists from attacking us on September 11th? If you listen real close I’m sure you can hear a 41%’er saying, “they were Iraqi”…

You know she is hitting the pipe when she brings up Reagan’s involvement with Afghanistan and the Mujahideen…as something positive. Just like Saddam, the Mujahideen (Bin Laden) was well funded by Reagan and they would repay him for his involvement 20 years later. So the problems in Iraq and Afghanistan can be directly traced back to shortsighted republican policy. Reagan and the republicans loved the Afghans because they were ultimately just right-wing fanatics believing in a different myth. At least they were just terrorists…not communists.

The one controversy at ChodePAC 2011 was the inclusion of the conservative gay group GOProud (Stockholm Syndrome?). Coulter is a fan of GOProud and says that she is a friend of the gays. I’m wondering if Ann Coulter is gay…not that there’s anything wrong with that as it were. Actually, it would be the one cool thing about her. If not, what is she the 50 year-old virgin? Since she has been engaged several times but never married (classic lesbian) your faithful editor has to assume that she has never had premarital sex.

Peace be with you,

Leftneck Jesus

One thought on “Ann Coulter: Please Put Down The Crack Pipe

  1. Love your site. Confirms my major sentiment. As a body, we have to work together to irradicate the rotting stench that is Conservative ideology, which somehow seems aptly interchangeable with bigotry in any form and at any level.
    Love your Coulter piece but am ambivalent about the crack theory; largely because crack has proven to be hazardous to humans and possibly other life forms. Not certain she fits into either category. Like most things ultra conservative, Coulter is special being. But then she is part of a spawn resulting from that special experiment that produced a breed so rabid and toxic, that God named them Conservative.
    Love when her lips move. It’s a guaranteed bonanza for us inthe wriitng community. Let’s keep bonding. Together we can ask Crizzle to help us defeat the political scourge of Conservatism and all of its trappings, ie the Coulters.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *