The Gospel According To...

Why Do Right Wing Conservative Christians Hate Right Wing Conservative Muslims?

Leftneck Jesus

For as long as I can remember, I have been a liberal. My core beliefs and values have not changed, from my days back in Nazareth 2000 years ago, to my resurrection as a leftneck in the 1970’s. So you might say that I have what the conservatives like to call a liberal bias. I admit it. I’m a lefty, a socialist, a communist, etc. My liberal beliefs are not constrained by borders, race, religion, or really anything at all. I think that is one of the main distinctions between liberals and conservatives; the liberal philosophy is universal, whereas the conservative attitude is self-serving, hypocritical, and ultimately changes according to borders, race, religion, and which political party is in control.

I support the liberal left throughout the world. If I still lived in Israel I would be protesting the settlements and pushing for human rights for the Palestinians. Even if I were so unfortunate as to have to live in Gaza- I would endorse peace and recognize the Jewish State of Israel. I believe my daughters deserve the same justice, education, and quality of life as any man, and would believe so if I lived in the darkest cave in Afghanistan! I agree with the anti-war left in Europe, the social left in Canada, the Liberal Democratic Party of Iran has my vote, and so does every other liberal party or movement in the world. Let us contrast my worldwide liberalism with the situation specific conservatism.

I think we should start with the thing that conservatives value most…money. The conservatives (i.e. republicans) are the party of the rich. They believe that the rich worked hard and deserve everything they have, but they constantly single out wealthy liberals (i.e. democrats) as being elitist and out of touch. In 2004 it was particularly interesting to hear an Andover prepped, Yale undergrad, Harvard Business School M.B.A., and son of a former president talk about John Kerry as being elitist. Kerry and Bush had similar backgrounds but Bush pursued policies to keep the wealth and power at the top while Kerry tried to repeal a tax cut that was very beneficial to him and his family. And speaking of his family, it was hilarious to watch conservatives attack Teresa Heinz Kerry for being rich and out of touch.  It was hilarious of course because she was the widow of former U.S. Senator H. John Heinz III (R-Pennsylvania) and she said, “those very same people never criticized my late husband for his money and his wealth…in fact they used it.”

Conservatives love free market capitalism. They suggest that the government should get out of business and let the market decide everything. Well, not quite everything. See, the conservatives are against capitalism when it is something they find immoral (Socialists!). They do not accept Larry Flynt as an American entrepreneur of the sex industry, even though he was supplying something with incredible demand. They might not accept him but they sure like to indulge in his products when they think nobody is looking…let me tell you. And what about the drug dealers? They are the hardest-core capitalists one could meet, but the conservatives want to lock them up for supplying a demand? I have a funny story about the perfect cross section of this reality. So when I was younger I knew this kid who did and sold every drug he could get his hands on, but he considered himself a conservative. He loved to listen to Rush and he thought Reagan was the best and Clinton the worst. I tried to tell him that conservatives wanted to cut off his mullet and send him to jail, but he had this crazy notion that he was a capitalist and therefor a conservative.

Religion might just be the best (worst?) example of the self-serving nature of conservatives. I think it is rather amusing that right-wing-conservative-Christians are the biggest haters of the Taliban and the Islamic Republic of Iran, aka the Islamic Right. Amusing because conservatives actually want their style of government in the United States…just with their religion of course. Conservatives want prayer in the classroom and in the courts. Conservatives want their wives to be subservient and at home. Conservatives believe that I am the Son of God and that all non-believers are destined to hell. Conservatives are religious hypocrites about violence, war, and killing just like right-wing-conservative-Muslims. So why do right wing conservative-Christians hate right-wing-conservative-Muslims?

Conservatives love to wave the flag, but they become traitriots as soon as a democrat is elected. Supporting the government was patriotic when King Dubya was destroying the Constitution (ask the Dixie Chicks), but the government is Big Brother now that Obama is president. Remember when Chicago was in the running for the Olympics and the flag-wavers were literally cheering against the US because Obama is from Chicago?

 

Could you imagine the conservative outrage if this were a group of liberal bloggers cheering against Texas? They would have had them locked up and tried for treason. I hate republicans with the best of them, but I still have love and respect for my country-even when they are in charge. Liberals and democrats gave Bush a chance after we were attacked on September 11th, on HIS watch, but conservatives would be quick to blame any attack during the Obama administration on democrats being pussies.

And speaking of Osama bin Laden, how did you like the muted response of the traitriot conservatives when president Obama ordered the double tap on OBL? Could you imagine if Dubya or any republican president had made such a courageous call?  Conservatives would have held mandatory recitals of The Pledge of Allegiance for the entire country.  They would have made every male wear red, white, and blue from head to toe with star-spangled-banana-hammocks in between.

Instead of jubilation they were like ho-hum, nothing to see here. They downplayed the role of the administration in the operation while giving credit to everyone from Horace Smith and Daniel Wesson, to George W. “I truly am not that concerned about him” Bush and Dick Cheney. They say that the military made the call, not Obama, and they say that anybody would have made the same call. If only we had a way to see what John McCain would have done if he were elected…

As usual I could write for days about all of the conservative hypocrisy, but I will just mention two other areas since they are currently in the news and being debated by congress. The first is war. Conservatives love war. They would support a republican administration if they wanted to go to war with Mexico or Canada, but they cannot support president Obama’s decision to use American forces in a NATO mission. Now I am against war and not particularly pleased with the decision to send our troops to Libya…because if we send them there then why not Bahrain or Syria as well? But that is me and I am a liberal-not a war mongering conservative. The same group of republicans, who gave the Bush administration carte blanche on war, does not think a democratic president has the same authority.

And last but not least I have to mention the deficit. For years republicans have been fond of saying that deficits don’t matter (“Reagan taught us that”). What they really meant to say was that deficits don’t matter when republicans are in charge. See, deficits caused by tax cuts and the unpaid wars are okay, but deficits under democratic leadership are disastrous. The conservatives are now trying to use the deficits created by Bush and the republicans as reason to roll back social programs instead of rolling back the tax cuts. Like the Apostle Ezekizzle said, conservatives are sickening but brilliant!

Peace be with you,

Leftneck Jesus

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 Comments

  1. Jeremy says:

    Brilliant. Could not agree more.
    I have made similar arguments in the past: http://livelifequesting.blogspot.com/
    I also like DarkMatter2525 on “If Jesus Was A Conservative.”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkKPtUywY-8

  2. Ezekizzle says:

    Crizzle–MY Nizzle! Spoken like a true profit . . . . I mean prophet.

  3. Thunder Dan says:

    When did the teachers become the bad guys? Why do we go after our workforce when good honest Americans work hard? If liberals spend money here in the U.S. its bad…conservatives spend money its to protect us from mass destruction. When we see the break down of family and view our priorities over materialistic things, humanity suffers greatly towards its fate. Let the roller coaster begin.

Leave a Comment

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

JesusisNOTaRepublican